No. of Recommendations: 7
Idiot US Attorney Judge Boxwine Actually Tried To Indict Mark Kelly And Pals Yesterday
Hahahahahahahahahaha, fascism, but hahahahahahahahahahaha.
Evan Hurst
Feb 11, 2026
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
Print this one out and put it on your bathroom mirror and in your manifesting journal and wherever you need to put it on those days when you need a reminder that our fascists and Nazis are THE MOST INCOMPETENT FUCKING FASCISTS AND NAZIS IN THE HISTORY OF GOD’S ENTIRE GREEN EARTH.
So y’all know how US Attorney Judge Jeanine Boxwine Pirro, Esq. has been having a real hard time getting DC grand juries to sign her indictments? It is largely because she is an incompetent fool Fox News personality who keeps bringing them fake crimes, and the grand juries keep saying “LOL!” and making wine-sloshing motions at each other and telling her to fuck off.
It’s mostly been Boxwine trying to indict peaceful protesters for failing to suck Nazi and ICE cock and say thank you for all the fascism, sir yes sir. They say grand juries will indict a ham sandwich, but not when this dumb dickhole is makin’ them!
But this? This? Is a whole ‘nother level of hilarious dumbass behavior emanating from the wine bar at the US attorney’s office in Washington DC.
It was reported last night that Boxwine literally actually tried to indict Sens. Mark Kelly and Elissa Slotkin, and Reps. Jason Crow, Maggie Goodlander, Chrissy Houlahan, and Chris DeLuzio, for making that video where they simply read the law out loud and reminded active duty servicemembers and those working in the intelligence community that they are required BY LAW! to refuse to obey illegal orders from any petty little bitch tyrants who happen to give them.
Boxwine did that. Boxwine did that yesterday.
Also yesterday, the grand jury in DC told her to eat a whole entire platter of dicks in a blanket. Because of course it did that yesterday.
What did Wonkette say? WHAT DID WONKETTE SAY when we first wrote about Boxwine sniffing around these real patriots’ pantlegs?
If you want a punchline, it is that it appears to be US Attorney Judge Boxwine threatening to open a bottle of Yellowtail on these seditious insurrectionists who forgot to swear their oath to Dear Leader instead of the Constitution, so it’s not like she’s actually going to be able to get a grand jury to do anything to them.
That’s what Wonkette said." —Wonkette
