I know you're trying to claim absolute numbers as your argument but that falls apart when we look at the proportions

That's a really stupid argument. It's all about absolute numbers. The essential purpose of NATO is to defend against Soviet/Russian aggression. All that matters is the strength of NATO compared to the strength of Russia.

So let's do a simple comparison. The European countries of NATO have about 2.1 million active duty people. Russia has about 1.5 million. How much more does anyone need? With the additional backing of the U.S. and Canada, no one needs to contemplate increasing the force size to deter Russia.

So why should Poland and the Baltic countries be trying frantically to increase their own military forces? First because they are the front line states, and they may have to stand alone at the initial stage of a Russian attack. Second, and most important, because the commitment of the U.S. to back up a European defense against Russia can no longer be relied on. You're praising Poland for concluding that it can no longer rely on America, and if NATO collapses they can't even be sure that Germany and the rest of Europe will come to their aid. That's why they're spending a comparatively huge amount on defense. It's not because they've decided to be a stronger American ally. It's because they doubt that America is a true ally any more.