No. of Recommendations: 3
long live me! blithers Mad King Donny
it’s becoming apparent that we’ve been looking at this all wrong. Donny Convict doesn’t want to be Agolf Shitler. he doesn’t want to be a Putin-style autocrat, or an Orbán-style neo-Fascist.
oh sure, those rackets are a pretty cool deal, if you can swing it. you’re still the Big Boss. you can still torment the shit out of your enemies, and reward your cronies. you can still demand everyone’s attention, and you can still embezzle the fuck out of your country’s treasury.
but even all that is not enough for Donny. there’s something missing. the needy, insecure fuckwit has a crown-shaped hole in his life. what Donny wants is to be king.
“CONGESTION PRICING IS DEAD. Manhattan, and all of New York, is SAVED. LONG LIVE THE KING!”
oh look, Mad King Donny just SAVED New York, with a stoke of his magical pen. just like he SAVED California by draining a reservoir and almost flooding fragile farmland.
but check out how the megalomaniacal fuck signs off: LONG LIVE THE KING!
and then, to add insult to injury, the official White House not-twitter account not-tweeted this:
[Inserted here (can't post a photo image) is a Times magazine look-alike cover with a picture of Donny with a crown on his head and the caption "Long Live the King"]
what the hell? what American president does this? the very idea that a president would imagine himself to be a king is fundamentally un-American — we fought a whole fucking Revolutionary war about it, remember?
also: how weird is it that the White House already had this artwork on hand, ready to tweet out after Donny’s post?
let’s say that Joe Biden had posted imagery of himself tarted up in a crown. Republicans would have burned the White House to the ground. Comer Fudd would have started shrieking in a register that could only be heard by dogs. but when Donny does it? crickets.
I’m not aware of any clause in the Constitution that says eventually we get a king again.
but this I-am-your-king business makes perfect sense for a lazy narcissist like Donny. he has no interest in governing. don’t pester him with any of this how a bill becomes a law crap. that shit’s for losers. executive orders are the true path forward.
what Donny wants is to sit on a throne, make a few kingly pronouncements — there are only two genders. everyone must wear their underwear on their head — and then fuck off and play golf for the rest of the day, leaving his Lord Chancellor, the Space Nazi, to deal with making whatever Donny decreed so. Tiedrich
