Halls of Shrewd'm / US Policy
No. of Recommendations: 5
Trump Falls Into Coma During Screening of Melania’s Movie
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Disaster struck at the White House on Tuesday night when Donald J. Trump fell into what appeared to be an irreversible coma during a screening of the upcoming film “Melania.”
Trump was unresponsive seven minutes into the screening despite the First Lady’s attempts to rouse him by repeatedly swatting his right hand.
“Be wake!” the increasingly irate Mrs. Trump shrieked.
Speaking on condition of anonymity, one White House source said, “He looked like Pete Hegseth at the end of a workday.”
Press secretary Karoline Leavitt later briefed reporters on Trump’s coma, asserting, “This will in no way affect his performance as president.”
Borowitz
No. of Recommendations: 2
"Be wake!"
Lol!
No. of Recommendations: 5
Press secretary Karoline Leavitt later briefed reporters on Trump’s coma, asserting, “This will in no way affect his performance as president.”
That’s doing her gross injustice.
More likely:
“At no point was the President asleep. His eyes were closed because he was listening so intently that vision was no longer necessary. Frankly, it’s insulting for the fake media to suggest otherwise.”
No. of Recommendations: 7
“This will in no way affect his performance as president.”
Actually, I suspect it would be a significant improvement.
No. of Recommendations: 6
More likely:
“At no point was the President asleep. His eyes were closed because he was listening so intently that vision was no longer necessary. Frankly, it’s insulting for the fake media to suggest otherwise.”
You have just successfully “out-Borowitzed” Andy Borowitz.
And he’d probably agree.
Well done!
No. of Recommendations: 3
Well done!
He should have put "Borowitz" in the title. I got my hopes up, and then clicked the message to see "Borowitz". I was very disappointed.
