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Author: Goofyhoofy 🐝 HONORARY
SHREWD
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Number: of 48467 
Subject: Miss Manners
Date: 01/16/2023 9:04 AM
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Miss Manners: Atheist debates how to respond to religious sign-offs

Dear Miss Manners: My friends and I, who are religion-free (or atheists), are debating how to respond to people who tell us to 'have a blessed day' or who use any other religious sign-off. It's especially frustrating and offensive in what should be religion-free places of business, such as the doctor's office or a public agency.

Although we don't want to be rude, and we know some people may not even understand why it's offensive and may genuinely think they are being nice, we also don't want the obvious proselytizing and forced religious exchange to go unchecked.

It's tempting to explain that it's offensive, but that would mean revealing private information about our personal religious status. And when you reveal you aren't religious to someone who is, you risk being treated badly.

Instead, we almost always end up gritting our teeth and replying, 'You, too,' or, 'Have a nice day,' and letting it go. But it wears on us and makes us feel unwelcome and discriminated against. And it's becoming more and more prevalent.

Is there a polite way to respond that also gently tells the other person that phrase is inappropriate and unwelcome?


Although you and your friends are religion-free, language is not. Even 'goodbye' derives from 'God be with ye.' People who bless you when you sneeze would be puzzled to be accused of forcing their religion on you.

As you are against bringing religion into public discourse, Miss Manners wonders why you are even tempted to open such discussions. Explaining your position is surely an opening for others to explain theirs. She suggests that you continue to tolerate conventional cliches and stop taking them personally.
_________________________________________

So waddya think, ye heathens? [Today's Washington Post]
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Author: g0177325   😊 😞
Number: of 48467 
Subject: Re: Miss Manners
Date: 01/16/2023 10:28 AM
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Doesn't bother me. However people want to show their friendliness to me in the form of a greeting - however cliched - is ok with me. Whether they really mean it or not is their problem, not mine!
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Author: sano 🐝  😊 😞
Number: of 15064 
Subject: Re: Miss Manners
Date: 01/16/2023 2:27 PM
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It depends on how strongly the christian implies conviction. If it's no more than a reflexive salutation, like Gesundheit, I just say ciao.

Googling possible atheist responses with a skoshie more impact, I kinda like "Live long and prosper!", tossing a startrek hand salute.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iu1qa8N2ID0
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Author: sheila727   😊 😞
Number: of 15064 
Subject: Re: Miss Manners
Date: 01/16/2023 2:50 PM
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Googling possible atheist responses with a skoshie more impact, I kinda like "Live long and prosper!", tossing a startrek hand salute.

That would go right over my head. I never got into StarTrek.

"Have a blessed day" doesn't bother me. I regard it as that person's way of wishing me a day that is good and supportive. Same goal, just different ways of expressing it. Part of what makes all of the ways in which people are individuals.
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Author: Goofyhoofy 🐝 HONORARY
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Number: of 15064 
Subject: Re: Miss Manners
Date: 01/16/2023 5:00 PM
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I regard it as that person's way of wishing me a day that is good and supportive.

I wonder how you'd feel if they said 'May Allah be with you' four times a day?
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Author: Jordrok   😊 😞
Number: of 15064 
Subject: Re: Miss Manners
Date: 01/16/2023 5:09 PM
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kinda like "Live long and prosper!", tossing a startrek hand salute.

I'm really tempted to make it so!
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Author: sheila727   😊 😞
Number: of 15064 
Subject: Re: Miss Manners
Date: 01/16/2023 5:51 PM
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I wonder how you'd feel if they said 'May Allah be with you' four times a day?

Can't compare that to "have a blessed day." The latter doesn't refer to a specific god or religion.
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Author: very stable genius   😊 😞
Number: of 15064 
Subject: Re: Miss Manners
Date: 01/16/2023 6:33 PM
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I like to respond with, "blessed be the fruit," from Margaret Atwood's The Handmaids Tale.
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Author: PhoolishPhilip   😊 😞
Number: of 15064 
Subject: Re: Miss Manners
Date: 01/16/2023 10:41 PM
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I wonder how you'd feel if they said 'May Allah be with you' four times a day?

It's the same. In Islamic cultures "inshallah" is a reflexive blessing people throw into all sorts of conversation all day long. There's no difference between Christian and Islamic culture in this regard.
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Author: ges 🐝  😊 😞
Number: of 75 
Subject: Re: Miss Manners
Date: 01/17/2023 9:03 PM
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It doesn't bother me much if just tossed off as a casual sign-off.

But the other day my friends and I got out of our car at a city park at the same time as a woman exited her vehicle next to us. Out of the blue she shouted "DO YOU HAVE JESUS IN YOUR HEART!" Now THAT was annoying. Still, we just chose to ignore her.
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