No. of Recommendations: 3
Wow. And wow!!!
It's not clear (to me) if she doesn't realize her sounds are not words, or if she can't understand why we don't understand.
With her dementia as advanced as it is......no way of knowing what she's aware of or not, and what her confusions are. I would say clearly to her, while you caress her hand, that an accident in her brain has made it impossible for her to talk clearly, and that you can't understand what she's trying to say. But that it doesn't make you love her any less. And that you're glad she can understand you when you tell her you love her. And that you also say "love" when you caress her hand. And that hopefully she will regain her ability to talk so that you can understand her.
But the big worry is she can't swallow. ... At first you might not think it a big deal, but that is actually a much larger problem than ambulation. If she can't swallow, she dies.
It is a significant problem, but not at all as critical as the hospital personnel have allowed you to think. If she cannot swallow, there are 2 alternatives. One is to insert a feeding tube, which will remain in place for as long as she's unable to swallow......temporarily or permanently. The other alternative.....but only if the loss of swallow ability is permanent.....would be the determination that her time has come, that the quality of her life is too severely diminished at this point. Then she would be placed in hospice and given medication to make her comfortable. And she would gradually fade away.
My father....who had Alzheimers....passed in this way. And my brother and I remained with him the entire time. The husband of a friend of mine.....who had metastatic esophageal cancer that no longer responded to treatment....did have a feeding tube for a little while, when it made sense. But once he stopped responding to those around him, the tube was removed.
Good luck in coping with this!!! And make sure to ask questions. Get as much information as you can. Also ask to meet with a social worker to talk about alternatives.
Hugs!!!
