What really happened?

A gallows was erected by FBI and Homeland security. Double secret agent Ray Epps instructed the crowd to go into the capitol the night before and continued on Jan 6.

Jan 6ers thought they were headed to a luncheon by the capitol and we're mislead by agents of the deep state, shot at with rubber bullets and gassed, Jan 6ers were herded into the capital. They brought zip ties to take food home. Their presence was initially welcomed by congress critters, but then deep state rushed Congress out, making it look like Jan 6ers were trying to interrupt the peaceful transition of power as Jan 6ers milled about looking for the luncheon. FBI agents beat the hell out of a few cops, sprayed bear spray on cops, and generally upset the peacefully milling Jan 6ers.

Then Trump found out where they were and peacefully requested they go home. Because the steps appeared unstable, some of the Jan 6ers picked up objects to weigh themselves down as they descended. "What a lovely day," said Pooh the Shaman as he and Piglet Oathkeeper sauntered back to the 3%er acre woods. "Where did we stash all those guns?" asked Roo.

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