Subject: Wonkette on Octagon Last Night
After escaping through an emergency access exit, I dragged myself up 14th Street toward the White House. I saw the Herbert C. Hoover Federal Building draped in Freedom 250 flag banners. It reminded me of old press clippings and photos of Germany in the 1930s.

When I was finally able to catch a glimpse of The Claw, I wasn’t sure what to think. White spotlights pierced the night sky. A series of red, white and blue tentacles were emerging from beneath the tree line, like some real life Americanized eldritch horror-fantasy. There a couple cops and federal agents in tactical gear milling around near a BearCat. I heard the unmistakable hiss of cans being cracked open, men cheering and saw several agents clink their cans together.

Then I heard the words of the late German impressionist painter, Max Liebermann, echoing in my ear:

“Ich kann gar nicht so viel fressen, wie ich kotzen möchte.”

Roughly translated, it means: “I could not eat as much as I want to vomit.” As the story goes, Lieberman uttered those words in Berlin as the Nazis passed through Brandenburg Gate.