Subject: Oral Sex and Arnold Palmer’s Junk
Sad that I can write a headline like I did…. And it is!

Ok- gotta be a funny story in here somewhere, right? And, my fellow shrewdom denizens, there is!

Furthermore, it’s a true story and it happened today….

My wife and I werr dring around today- running errands. The topic of conversation was the video of Donald Trump’s public simulation of oral sex on a microphone, hard on the heels of his public soliloquy on the imagined attributes of Arnold Palmer’s penis.

Both of us are retired pastors so we’ve seen and heard quite a bit. Trump’s performance reminded us of the performative displays of teenaged boys. We laughed.

But then my wife started laughing even harder.

“What?” I asked

“I just remembered something…. Something I’ve never told anyone about until right now.”

“OK. You have my attention.”

“Years ago in the Madison church (she served as an associate pastor in wisconsin 1990-1995) Hi went to visit this wonderful, prim older woman in the psychiatric unit. She was having some sort of psychotic episode and they were trying to get her meds adjusted…. Anyway, we weren’t really having what you would call ‘a conversation’. Mostly she was just talking nonsense and I was just sitting there, trying to find some connection.”


“Been there, done that,” I responded.

“but then,” she continued, “I decided to listen to what she was actually saying, even with all the disjointed sentences and mumblings….and it became immediately apparent that she was in the middle of some sort of fantasy about having sex with a donkey…… funny, but that’s what Trumps performance with that microphone reminded me of.”