Subject: King Charles alienates Republicans
King Charles Alienates Republicans With Offensive Use of Complete Sentences

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Igniting an international incident on Tuesday, Charles III of the United Kingdom angered GOP lawmakers by delivering a speech riddled with complete sentences.

The offensive sentences, characterized by an incendiary deployment of subject-verb agreement, drew howls of outrage from congressional Republicans.

“Speech bad,” said Ron Johnson.

“Sucked,” said Lauren Boebert.

“Urgggh,” said Tommy Tuberville. Borowitz