Subject: The Deal with Iran. Largely sucks.
https://townhall.com/tipsheet/...

Point by point we'll walk. To me it looks like it's inarguably ass:

The United States of America, and Islamic Republic of Iran, and their allies in the current war, by signing this MOU, declare the immediate and permanent termination of military operations on all fronts, including in Lebanon, and undertake from now on not to initiate any war or any military operation against each other, and to refrain from the threat or use of force against each other, and ensuring the territorial integrity and sovereignty of Lebanon. The final deal will confirm the permanent termination of the war on all fronts, including in Lebanon, and other provisions of this paragraph.

Israel, Lebanon and Hezbollah aren't part of the deal at all, and Iran has zero rights inside of Lebanon, so including that conflict in this is useless. I suspect both sides want it in here so that either side could declare the entire thing to be in breach when inevitably Hezbollah shells Israel and Tel Aviv responds.

The United States of America, the Islamic Republic of Iran, undertake to respect each other's sovereignty and territorial integrity, and to refrain from interfering in each other's internal affairs.

Whatever. More symbology.

The United States of America, and the Islamic Republic of Iran commits to negotiating and achieving the final deal in maximum 60 days – extendable with mutual consent.

Okay.

Immediately upon the signing of this MOU, the United States of America will begin the removal of its naval blockade and any disturbances or impediments against the Islamic Republic of Iran, and will fully end the Naval blockade within 30 days. During this period, the traffic of vessels will be in proportion to the numbers of pre-war traffic being restored by the Islamic Republic of Iran, the United States of America, further undertakes to remove its forces from the proximity of the Islamic Republic of Iran within 30 days after the final deal.

Lots of flexibility in this. The blockade ends the second the Navy says it's over; it doesn't take 30 days for that. The "proximity" thing is also not defined. I'm sure the Iranians will claim it means all US forces out of the Middle East.

Upon the signing of this, MOU, the Islamic Republic of Iran will make arrangements using its best efforts for the safe passage of commercial vessels with no charge for 60 days only from the Persian Gulf to the Sea of Oman, and vice versa. The traffic of commercial vessels will immediately start in considering the needs for removing the technical and military obstacles and de-mining by the Islamic Republic of Iran will be initiated within 30 days, the Islamic Republic of Iran will conduct dialogue with Sultaness of Oman to define the future administration and maritime services in the Strait of Homruz discussion with other Persian gulf [...] states in line with the applicable international law and the sovereign rights of coastal states of the Strait of Hormuz.

This is very badly worded. "No charge"? It's an international waterway; of course there's "no charge". This does commit the Iranians to remove whatever mines they've laid. It also seemingly hands the strait - again an international waterway - over to Iran and Oman. Uhhh, no. There is an out clause with the "applicable international law" thing, though.

The United States of America undertakes with regional partners to develop a definitive mutually agreed plan with at least USD 300 billion for the reconstruction and economic development of the Islamic Republic of Iran. The mechanism for the implementation of this plan will be finalized as part of a final deal within 60 days. All required licenses, waivers, and permissions needed for the relevant financial transactions will be granted by the United States of America.

So who pays this? Trump says it won't be us but this clearly implies we broker it. The correct answer to this should be $0.

The United States of America undertakes to terminate all types of sanctions against the Islamic Republic of Iran, including the United Nations Security Council Resolution, i.e. IAEA Board of Governor's Resolution, and all unilateral U.S. sanctions, primary and secondary, and an agreed upon schedule as part of the final deal.

In exchange for what? So far no language about their support for international terrorism or their missile programs. Terminating "all types of sanctions" is a bad idea.

The Islamic Republic of Iran reaffirms that it shall not procure or develop nuclear weapons. The United States of America, and the Islamic Republic of Iran, have agreed to resolve the disposition of stockpile enriched material, pursuant to a mechanism that will be mutually agreed upon, in accordance with the schedule mentioned in paragraph 7, with a minimum methodology to be down blending on site, under the supervision of the IAEA. The two parties also agreed to discuss the issue of enrichment and other mutually agreed matters related to the economical public of Iran's nuclear need, based on the satisfactory framework being agreed upon in the final deal. The final deal will confirm the provisions of this paragraph. The United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran, acknowledge the critical importance of the nuclear issues above mission, and express their attention to immediately address these issues in the negotiation in order to achieve mutual agreement on them.

Okay. Iran has never before even ack'd their nuclear weapons program. So this is at least a start. The key word is "minimal" in terms of the down-enrichment. How about we fly this stuff back to Hanford and do it there?

Pending the final deal, the United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran agree to maintain the status quo. The Islamic Republic of Iran will maintain the current status quo of its nuclear program, and the United States of America will not impose any new sanctions and will not deploy additional forces in the region.

More boilerplate. The current status of the Iranian nuclear program is a bunch of sealed caves. I suppose this means they can't try to dig it out, though.

The United States of America undertakes, but immediately upon the signing of this MOU, and until the termination of sanctions, the U.S. Department of Treasury will issue waivers for the export of Iranian crude oil, petroleum products and derivatives and all associated services including banking, transactions, insurances, transportation, etc.

This is the Venezuela plan part 2. This also doesn't say how much oil and other things they can ship.

The United States of America undertakes to make fully available for use, the frozen, or restricted funds, and assets of the Islamic Republic of Iran upon the implementation of the MOU, the United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran will usually agree on the procedures related to the relief of these funds during the negotiation. Such funds, whether retained in the original accounts or transferred, government may be fully usable for payment to any ultimate beneficiary designated by the Central Bank of the Islamic Republic of Iran. The United States of America undertakes to issue all necessary licenses and authorizations accordingly.

This part is serious ass. It more or less frees the Iranians to hand out money to the IRGC, Hamas or Hezbollah.

The United States of America and the Islamic Republic of Iran agree that an executive mechanism will be established to monitor the successful implementations of MOU and the future compliance of the final deal.

By who? The 3 blind mice over at the IAEA?

After signing the MOU, and subject to the beginning of the implementation of paragraphs 1, 4, 5, 10, and 11 of this MOU, and the continuing implementation of these measures, the United States of America, and the Islamic Republic of Iran, will start negotiations regarding the final deal exclusively on the other paragraphs.

The final deal will be endorsed by a binding [United Nations Security Council] resolution.

El barf-o.