Subject: FAFO Is The Wrong Acronym

The leader of America’s armed forces risked U.S. national security Tuesday in order to taunt the Trump administration’s perceived foreign enemies.

[WhiskeyLeaks's]message shocked members of the U.S. military, who could not recall another instance in which a defense secretary summoned so many commanders for a sudden in-person meeting—especially without a clear rationale. Some warned that having so many integral military leaders in one place could pose a national security risk.

As it turns out, the rationale was to rail against the culture wars. Hegseth, pacing back and forth onstage, also leveraged his time in front of America’s military to criticize “woke” ideology. He ordered the armed forces to reset its combat requirements to the “highest male standard only,” a decision that would effectively force women out of the military.

“If women can make it, excellent. If not, it is what it is,” Hegseth said.

The Pentagon chief also nixed medical beard waivers, a decision that will disproportionately affect Black service members due to the curl pattern of the hair on their face.

“No more beardos,” Hegseth said. “Calling someone to shave, or work hard, is exactly the kind of workforce we want.”

Speaking to the country’s top military commanders during an unprecedented mandatory in-person assembly, Hegseth emphasized that the recently renamed War Department was reimagined for a reason.

“To our enemies: FAFO,” Hegseth said, using an acronym that translates to “Fuck around and find out.”



I suspect the crowd had another acronym in mind as they watched WhiskeyLeaks, preening nitwit and defiant drunk, strut and fret his hour upon the stage; the much more accurate label which the troops have hung upon his ilk since time out of mind:

FUMU.