Subject: Re: Et tu, American Conservative?...
new MMDs are assembled in America and will ship soon.

NOTE: MMDs are NOT liquid tight. Follow these instructions at your own risk.

Just like the phone, jam it up your butt for that "perfect fit".

1. When Jupiter aligns with Mars, turn in a slow circle to get best reception.

2. You will know when the EEEEE-OOOOO-SQUEAL-WHISTLE vibrate your teeth--in their glass.

3. Full download takes 19 hours at 4 bph. Faster downloads take longer and cost you far more at higher speeds.

4. Must download the complete software in one attempt. Additional attempts cost $2999 each.